What the F*ck Am I Supposed To Do All Day?
Being told to stay home and social distance ourselves has been a bit of head scratcher for many. “Stay home? Don’t go to work? I can’t stay inside all day with my family…we will kill each other! Or what exactly am I going to do all day?” All of these statements, I have been seeing and hearing since #socialdistancing became an official hashtag.
First, like many, I am in the same predicament. I am a small business owner, who only makes money when I am at the treatment table. It’s stressful AF and I am filled with anxiety about what my small business may look like once #Covid19 passes. However, I have chosen to surrender to the whole thing. What other choice could I make? It is socially dangerous and irresponsible to treat. It would be negligent of me to continue to work during this critical time for our Planet. Instead, I am staying at home, and enjoying some much needed quiet time with my family.
What Makes You Uncomfortable Sitting Still?
This foreign concept of staying home is certainly not challenging for me. I am an introvert (yes, it’s true) and desperately need quiet time for myself on the reg! However, it is a concept that is drastically challenging for many people.
Being a healer, naturally, this “challenge” always makes my head spin. So I ask, what is it that makes people uncomfortable sitting still? Like meditation, when we sit still (or are told to stay in one place), our mind rebels. I understand it can be very challenging being told to sit quietly with your own thoughts. While meditation is the most extreme version of this practice. We are now seeing that being at home on a Tuesday, can also be anxiety ridden for some.
Busy as a Distraction; from Your Emotions + Insecurities
Again I inquire, what makes you uncomfortable sitting still? Why the need to fill the day with organized and simulated fun? What are you running from? What are you trying to silence? Perhaps constantly organizing day trips, or always needing “something to do” is only a distraction from complicated emotions and rooted insecurities?
Always needing something to do is only a distraction from complicated emotions and rooted insecurities.
There is reason meditation is a practice. A practice that takes time to adopt no less. Learning to quiet the mind and be at peace with all your wounds and buried emotions, is a process. Just like peeling an onion; we have many layers, and sometimes tears need to be shed to get to the root.
Meditation Is F*cking Hard!
Insecurities, and complicated emotions like fear, grief, and shame all weigh the body down. You may have shut away old traumatic memories and wounds. But, make no mistake, they are still there and your body remembers everything. Those that are unable (or don’t want) to emotionally cope or heal from old events, usually are unable to sit in a meditation. Which is totally ok! No judgment whatsoever! Healing is f*cking complicated. Sitting still, doing nothing, and forcing yourself to stay away from the usual distractions provides a window for your mind to wander. If you have been constantly trying to silence these wounds, staying busy is the ultimate weapon!
As an example, say you were bullied as a child for your weight. You may still struggle with your weight, or have a tortured relationship with your body image as a result of a childhood wound. While sitting still and being present, your mind may wander back to self-esteem or self-love issues. These are complicated and deep wounds to overcome. It takes time. However, being able to sit still and be with your emotions is all part of the healing process. I will always encourage you to give it a try, for everyone deserves to be freed of their wounds!
Try This Exercise!
Since we (actually) have the time…if you are feeling up to it, give this meditative exercise try! Sit down and try and calm the chatter in your head, see where your mind initially wanders. Don’t force it, but what is your initial thought? Think about why it might be wandering there. What is the memory tied to this wound? Is it old? How do you FEEL when you think about it? Sit with that for a moment. Then, try to release whatever it is you are holding onto (tears, screaming, anger). Once you have emotionally released, check in and see how your body feels. Are you more comfortable sitting still in your body? Perhaps you feel calm or perhaps you feel lighter? There is no right answer here. If you are unable to calm the chatter enough during the first try, simply try again later!
Peeling The Onion While Quarantined — Why Not?
Remember, healing takes time. For anyone who believes healing to be a zenful experience, trust me, healing is f*cking dark! Being quarantined during Covid-19, might be a great time to try and see if you can start peeling back those onion layers. Why not? We actually have the time to do some real self-care!
Which layer makes you tear up the most? Are you able to release all those emotions? The Universe is begging us all to take a deeper look at ourselves. To evaluate our priorities, our decisions, and our habits. Now, is as good a time as ever to sit still and figure out why you have been distracting yourself with simulated fun for years. The Universe is forcing you to give it a try! You can do it, you are magnificent!