Dear Hubby, No I Do Not Want to Have a Threesome

Delusional Male Chatter

Full disclosure, I have been married a long time, and we actually have a very comfortable and honest relationship. Like many New York business men he sometimes goes on trips with his guy friends for a weekend.  I personally think the trips are healthy. He get’s time away to be with his friends and I get time for myself—win win. 

Also, the stories he tells me after the trip are always fascinating. Yeah sorry dudes, he TOTALLY tells me all the filthy sh*t you talk about!  While most of it is just complete nonsense, it’s the content of sexual chatter that is f*cking laughable!  Ready for this sh*t ladies?  Apparently, a percentage of committed men, believe their wife would happily invite another woman (or more) into bed with them. Yes, as in, women (in general) have no problem swinging both ways! It takes to render me speechless. Not easily shocked or offended. So, my hat is off to the married and middle aged men of the Tri-State area.  When it comes to this sh*t I have no words for you.  

Perhaps it is because porn is so easily accessible or maybe Hollywood is to blame.  Who knows where this male misconception came from.  All I know, is that men are clearly watching waaaaay too much lesbian porn.  They love watching women go down on each other. Apparently, they have now convinced themselves, that their wives will have no problem doing it as well.  They are suffering from crazy sexual delusions.  I hate to break the bad news, but not every woman wants to have sex with another woman.  Nor do they care to allow another woman into bed with you and her just for a fun Tuesday night.  Nope sorry, this is not a thing.  The inquiries for threesomes or having your wife partake in lesbian sexual activity has become bizarre AF.  

No, He’s Totally Not Kidding

Does any of this sound familiar?  Did you think your Husband was joking around?  Don’t be fooled, these are regular conversations amongst modern day men.  They truly believe that these sexual fantasies are within their reach.  I am guessing some of them forgot what it was ACTUALLY like being single. It is possible that this is their way of trying to desensitize us into partaking in their crazy sexual fantasies.  Maybe they should be reminded of just how lonely their penis used to be? Perhaps a reminder of just how much effort it takes to talk to women? 

Who knows where the f*ck these delusions came from! However, I do have a clever suggestion to help slow down the inquiries.  Next time he makes this proposal, subtly say “sure baby and let’s also invite your male friend into the bedroom. I would really loooooove to watch you suck his d*ck.”  I am certain that will change his tune real quick! 

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